Chicago: You're the Inspiration

(Written earlier this week when I had no internet.)

48 hours from now I will probably be on a train heading from Chicago, Illinois to Michigan City, Indiana with my best friend/boyfriend. It will be my second trip to the city, the first one only occurring this past spring break. For some people, especially my friends at Ball State, it's hard to imagine that I'm going to say this, but…I'm really looking forward to it.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, Chicago and I weren't exactly on friendly terms. It's not that I ever hated Chicago, or even had a dislike for it, it was the mere fact that I had never been there, nor did I have the desire to ever go. I didn't see this as any big deal until my first year at Ball State. Within the first semester, I let it slip that I had never been to the Windy City, the New York of the Midwest, and oh boy, was that a mistake. Let me tell you something. When it comes to Hoosiers, for some of them, Chicago is a very big deal. Huge. And when you tell them that you have never been to their precious city AND that you had no plans to ever go, it's just simply unfathomable to them. Never had it ever been so clear to me that I was at such fault for never going to Chicago. I couldn't believe it. I mean I’m from Ohio. Cincinnati in fact. To Cincinnatians, Chicago isn't that big of a deal. I mean sure, I have a lot of friends back home who've been to Chicago. Many of them like it. And sure, a few of those friends have given me the "you've never been to Chicago?!" reaction, but in most cases it was just never been a big deal. But at Ball State? You would've thought it was a sin! I had no idea that when I crossed the border of Ohio and Indiana that I was walking into the criticism of the Chicago-lover/enthusiasts.

Of course, being the stubborn-ass that I am and choose to be, and the fact that I defend my hometown as if my life depended on it, I fought back. I took the criticism of being a Chicago virgin and tried to come up with every excuse you could ever imagine to defend myself. From explaining how disgusting deep-dish pizza sounded to the fact that it just wasn't and could never be THE New York City (although I've never there either…oops…) I started on a rant that dwindled all the way down to a pure hatred for Chicago. That's right. I hated it. Even though I had never been there, barely knew anything about it, I knew that I hated it. I wrote a paper for my English class titled "Dear Chicago" in which I wrote a series of letters to the city explaining why I hated it and why I hated even more that my friends loved it. One time I got into a shouting match, yes, a shouting match, at a Mexican restaurant in Detroit over Chicago. Of course, this was started by a friend who knew how to push my buttons and just wanted to get a reaction out of me for the heck of it (I got some pretty strange looks from other tables that night). And it certainly didn't help when I went to a Reds game last summer against the Cubs and there were probably more arrogant Cubs fans than Reds fans (however we did win the game and I will never forget watching a big fat old Reds fan going over to shake hands, in a mocking sense of course, to the big fat old Cubs fan who had been annoying the entire game. It was a pretty sweet taste of victory).

But I think what really got under my skin was the fact that I felt ashamed for having never visited the city. Like an outcast, I was embarrassed. And I was even more frustrated when my Chicago-loving friends seemed to insult my city. They had no desire to go to Cincinnati because it wasn't Chicago. It's not as big as Chicago. There isn't as much to do. We have Newport on the Levee, they have Navy Pier. We have the Great American Ballpark, they have the classic Wrigley Field. They have a Starbucks on every corner while I wander from street to street in search of my favorite coffee shop. Chicago's better. I get it. But why does that mean that the city I love is the one that takes all the hits?

In hindsight, they weren't being as cruel as I had originally taken it. And they didn't make me an outcast for my lack of Chicago experience. They were just simply expressing their love for their favorite city and wanted me to know what I was missing out on, so that I can go and experience it too. And the only reason they "insulted" Cincinnati, was because they were being realistic. Cincinnati isn't as great as Chicago. They were just stating the facts. In fact, a few of my friends had visited Cincinnati for the first time in their lives before I made my visit to Chicago, and even though they don't like it as much as Chicago, they really enjoyed it. One friend got back from the Flying Pig Marathon this year and said to me, "I forgot how pretty Cincinnati is. I really enjoyed it." I was so happy.

So what made me change my mind about Chicago? What turned me from hating it into possibly loving it? Why is it once upon a time I swore I would never go, and now here I am about to embark on a 7 hour car ride to go to Chicago for one day, and be excited about it?

Well for starters, I fell in love with my best friend. Big surprise, he loves Chicago. His dad once lived in the Marina Towers and he use to visit. He loves his Cubbies and his Blackhawks, and of course "da Bears". And as much as I try to be little miss independent, when you date someone, for some reason you take on their interests as well. Not always…I still don't play ultimate Frisbee even though it's one of his favorite pastimes, I can barely sit for ten minutes to play a video game, and with the exception of the Blackhawks, I will never cheer for a Chicago team (Pens were out, so I had to cheer for someone. And Lord knows that being a Penguins fan I could not stand to see the Flyers win the cup). The list goes on, but you get the idea.

But what else? When I did finally decide to visit, I had one of two hopes: I hoped that I would either really love it, or I would hate it. I either wanted to be completely wrong, or completely right. I was really hoping to love it though. I wanted to go back to Ball State and tell all of my friends I was wrong, Chicago is as great as they told me it would be, ask for their forgiveness and live happily ever after. So I went. And I liked it. But unfortunately, I did not love it. And as we boarded the train to leave, even though I knew I'd probably be back again, a part of me thought, "Well, I've seen it, and if I never make it back here again, then that would be okay with me."

But fortunately I am going back. And I'm pumped for it. Not just to see Joe…but I'm actually excited for Chicago. And I owe this all to (don't roll your eyes), Julia Roberts.

Just this past week I found the movie My Best Friend's Wedding, one of my favorite movies of all-time. And so I popped it in, and suddenly I remembered, it takes place in Chicago. And of course, since I have now been there, watching the movie took on a different meaning for me. I saw the buildings I remember seeing in real life. I watched Julia and Michael float down the Chicago River. I watched her race down Michigan Avenue to chase down Michael after kissing him in front of his bride-to-be. I saw Chicago bright and sunny and full of life, and I suddenly yearned to go visit again.

And so with Joe starting work later this week, and I will be flying off to the United Kingdom next Tuesday, we realized this would be our best chance to go in the summer. It will also be my last chance to hang out with Joe before I leave. At least 7 long weeks until I see him again. Of course, 6 weeks in England will probably fly by in the wink of an eye and I will think back to this moment and go, "Why on earth did I think it would be long?! Why would I ever want it to go by quickly?!" But when it comes to matters of the heart, time is often worse than distance.

And so this Wednesday I pray for sun and warmth and a wonderful time. I hope to be getting on board a train next to my best friend, who unlike in Julia's case did choose me, and head back to his house where the next day I'll head back to mine, to start my packing for my next big adventure. I will miss Joe terribly…but I know that not seeing him is only temporary. I just hope that Chicago will give me the inspiration to trust that everything will be okay.

Yes, Chicago…you're the inspiration.