Dream On

Fairfield Lane Library. In some odd sense, it is a second home to me. Quiet and comfortable. The only sounds are soft footsteps across the carpet, light chatter among friends, tutors and their tutees (is that the right word?), and, one of my favorite sounds, the light clicking of fingers dancing across keyboards. I don't spend nearly enough time here.

How it is the complete opposite compared to Ball State's library. I'm there in the mornings, between classes, after classes, and late at night. And for some odd reason, even though most of my stressful hours of the school year are spent there, I still enjoy it very much. I remember walking down in McKinley one day during finals week and overhearing a girl complain to her friend how much she hated the library but had to go to study. It honestly baffled me. What's so wrong with the library? Some floors are quiet, some floors aren't. There are tvs in the basement if you need to go chill out. A coffee shop with options just as good as starbucks (although it needs to adopt the same hours as the Starbucks in the student center...I need my midnight caramel macchiato!) I mean if it were me, I'd probably live there if I could. I'm still waiting for the day that it becomes a "real" library like every other college library and remain open 24/7. I'm sure there would be some days in which I'd never leave.

I don't know if it's the peaceful atmosphere, the writer I wish to be, or something about being surrounded by what seems like all the knowledge in the world but I find myself greatly at ease in these places. I feel like I can sit and think and be productive without being completely overwhelmed (this is of course with the exception of J102...most freakin stressful class of my life...). Or maybe it's the fact that I have access to all these great resources, and here's the brilliant catch, it's all for free! Books, magazines, journals, music, dvds, etc. Sometimes when I'm bored or if I have the free time I'll just walk up and down the aisles of books. And for some reason I feel like a child...just completely captivated by all that surrounds me...all the things I can read and learn about. It fascinates me. It angers me that I don't take advantage of all the books and resources I have at hand more often. It angers me even more so when I hear a fellow college student say that they hate the library. Oh how unappreciative she must be. Humph.

The only place that gets better is what I consider my "universal favorite place in the world": bookstores. Preferably Barnes and Noble, although I don't discriminate against Books A Million, Waldenbooks, and does Borders still exist? Oh and I miss the little bookstores. The ones that were like the one Meg Ryan owned in the movie You've Got Mail. There was a little bookstore by my house when I was a kid. My dad use to take my sisters and I there while I think he shopped for comic books and books about the stock market. It went out of business several years ago. Come to think of it I haven't seen a small bookstore such as itself since. Stupid giant corporations.

Anyways...I digressed. Back to bookstores. Oh! Let's not forget Half Price Books. Although they suck when it comes to selling your books to (I tried selling some old school books there that were rejected by the bookstores at Ball State...I received a whooping $2 for the five or six books I handed over. I prefer to think of it as a donation), they are absolutely marvelous when it comes to shopping for a book.

But despite all these other big bookstores, small bookstores, what have you...Barnes and Noble remains my favorite. Oh and fun fact. Andy Summers wrote in his autobiography about meeting the guy who started Barnes and Noble before the bookstore became the giant corporation it is today. Actually if I recall, the guy didn't even have the bookstore yet, it was just an idea at the time. I found it pretty cool when I read it.

But back to Barnes and Noble...I have a confession to make. I might've blogged about it before, but if I have I'm gonna blog about it again. When life gets stressful, or when I need a dose of inspiration, or if I'm just plain bored, I like to drive out to the Barnes and Noble in West Chester, walk in, get a little lost among all of the aisles of books and pause for a moment. And for that moment I think to myself, "One day I'm going to walk into this bookstore and my name is going to be on one of these books." And that moment exhilarates me. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's done this or had that thought. I might not even be the only person who drives out of her way to experience such a few seconds. But when I do it's one of the most inspiring moments of my day, sometimes my week or even month. I'll spend hours wandering through that store, picking up random books, and pretending that one day something I will have written will be hiding somewhere among all of the books I gaze at. Of course, it wouldn't be too bad if my book ended up at the front of the store, you know as it's one little stand with a "bestseller" sign attached. But for now I keep it simple. I would just like to think that one day I will have written something that is worth putting on a shelf and for a young aspiring writer such as myself to pick up and think, "one day, I'm going to be her." That's the goal. That's the dream. That not only I do something that achieves what I want, but helps inspire someone else.

I remember last year when I was in J102, our final project was to deconstruct an article of our choice, to show that all the work we put into our paper is something that real writers do. For my project I chose an article featured in the Rolling Stone (of course) by Sabrina Rubin Erderly. When I was finished with my project and received my grade, I sent it to her because she requested to see it, and in it I wrote about how talking to her and learning from her was a great inspiration to me. She wrote back this response...

Bravo! You get an A in my book. :-) An excellent, well-written paper -- and I'm also glad to hear that your talk with me didn't scare you away from journalism forever. I had an actual emotional moment when I reached the line of your conclusion about being excited to one day be in a position like mine... Because I remember so vividly being a college student myself, and
wanting the same thing so very badly. Keep at it, Laura, and you'll get there.

Enjoy your summer --

Best,
Sabrina

From time to time, when I need that dose of inspiration, or when I'm having a breakdown at school and the thought "I'm never gonna be a writer!!!" keeps flashing through my mind, I pull that e-mail out and realize that everyone who is in the position I dream of one day being in, was once in the same position as me. And it gives me that extra push to realize that if I just keep at it, one day I'll be there too.