Not Ready to Make Nice (1/90...third time's the charm!)

I got in a fight with a friend yesterday.

Not just any friend. A good friend. Or at least someone I used to consider a good friend.

The fight itself was ridiculous. What we got in an argument over was stupid. But the aftermath of it feels detrimental to our friendship. And I really don't think that's any exaggeration.

What I'm most upset about is how it all happened. A little bit of confrontation on his part. And I'm fine with confrontation. In fact I like it when people are very blunt and honest with me. Trying to sugar coat things does no good. I need to hear exactly what you think and how you feel and why. If you can't give that to me, we'll have issues.

He was blunt. And I appreciated that. But he was blunt in a text message. And that's pretty much where it all started.

I received a really rude and disrespectful text from him. I don't deal with confrontations via text. I don't even like confrontations on the phone. If you have an issue with me, approach me and talk to me in person. Because sending a message from your cell phone shows 1) You're not comfortable with talking to me in person, which means 2) That makes me question our friendship and how close we really are, and 3) You're being immature and rude.

Don't get me wrong. I like arguing with people through technology. Usually over stupid things that really don't matter. But confronting someone? No. There's never an acceptable reason to confront someone through a text.

I went to the house where this person lives, the same house my boyfriend lives in. They're roommates. And if you're thinking that has to do with the whole reason he confronted me, then you're right. I wanted to talk to him in person but he wasn't there. And with fume begin to pour out of my ears, I decided to call.

That's where I went wrong. I should've cooled off and waited until he got home to talk in person. But I couldn't resist. I was too angry to stop myself from calling. I called and got his voicemail. I left a message.

I don't remember what I exactly said in that message. I tried to keep my words as polite as possible. But I could not help my tone. So when he called back about twenty minutes later, there was no surprise we ended up yelling at each other.

The conversation lasted for ten minutes. He vented about all the things I had done wrong and how there is no good way to confront me because I always get upset. Excuse me, when have you ever confronted me before? Apparently he has dropped "hints". Sigh...We're both 21 years old, haven't we learned by now that if you try to be subtle it usually doesn't work? And he thought I was smart enough to pick up on those hints. I told him I wasn't going to blame myself for not getting his subtle hidden messages. That it's not my fault he waited til the end of the semester to confront me and had to do so through a text because he was too immature to talk to me in person. There were a few other things, but you get the gist of it. Needless to say we ended the conversation with "I can't talk to you about this anymore!"

I haven't been this angry or upset with anyone in a long time. And it saddens me that this is with someone who I used to get along with so well! I don't even know how this happened. But I sense it's something greater than what we talked about last night. What that is? I don't really know. I don't even think I could guess. But it has something to do with my boyfriend and I because our friend has been passive to us both for more than 2 months now.

So what now? My friend is angry at me, I sense there's something else bothering him, but I'm still too pissed off to even try to talk it out. That'd be the solution right? Sit down, apologize for getting upset, talk about the issue, figure out what's going on, end knowing we've made our peace and hug to seal the deal.

But when? And how? He's studying abroad next semester. I'm done with classes after next semester. He'll be back in Muncie next fall, I'll be who knows where. There's a very good chance these last few weeks of this semester may be the last we'll see of each other. Are we going to continue on in awkward silence or go back to the way things were before? I don't know. All I know is I'm still upset. And until this anger can subside, our friendship will probably remain on the rocks.