Life is Short. Have an Affair. - The AshleyMadison Rant

I am using my blog to try something new that I think will help my writing. You see I'm taking the opinion-writing class, a class that I very much enjoy but have found to be increasingly difficult. It's not hard to comprehend, and what I've learned from the class and from the book we're reading is all useful information that I'm trying to put into practice. And that's where the tough part comes in: writing is always easier said than done.

So I have a column due tomorrow for this class and what I've found works is to do my research, write up a draft the night before it's due, then look over it and make adjustments for it in the morning. So far my grades have been consistent. High Bs, just below the A mark. Which is great, but is also frustrating. This next column I turn in I would love to receive an A on.

However, this week's column is going to be difficult for me to write, because it is an issue that really bothers me, in this instinctive way that I can't describe. I hope no one takes offense to this, but I feel uber-conservative with this issue: close-minded and in denial of any facts that support the opposing argument. It really is something that no matter how well you present the opposing side, I just can't agree with it.

So before I start writing my draft, I figured I would give this a try and write a pre-draft. It'll give me a chance to vent, really let out of my feelings without having to worry if what I'm saying makes up a good column, or whether it's supported by any facts, etc. This is my blog, and while I love hearing feedback on what my friends/random readers read here, in the end I really don't care. This is for me. These are my thoughts. I say what's on my mind and that's all I need to justify it.

So here goes my ranting and raving. I'm hoping that through this blog I can sort out what I'm really thinking and feeling so I can write up the column that's going to get me an A.

What I'm writing about this week is AshleyMadison.com. What is it? It's a website for married couples to cheat on each other. That's right. A website completely devoted for married couples, or I guess couples in a relationship, to cheat. As if we need more problems in this world.

I'm not sure who to blame here. Most of me wants to blame the founder, Neil something, because while he claims he is a happily married father of two, here he is encouraging people to cheat. How hypocritical can you get? But at the same time, maybe he's just being smart. His website has exploded, with more than 7 million members. 7 million people using his website to cheat. As angry as I want to be at the creator, look at all the people who have jumped on his immoral bandwagon. If I want to blame on anyone, I'm battling more than I can handle.

Still it goes back to the creator. I think what bothers me most is that this guy is married and he is encouraging others to cheat. Actually, what really bothers me is his wife. Maybe it's because she's a woman, so naturally I relate to her more, but I don't understand how she can be married to a guy who believes that it's okay, in fact as he has often stated healthy to cheat in a marriage. When you get married, aren't you making a vow to stay with your partner for better or for worse? I'm sorry, but I don't remember ever attending a wedding where they exchanged terms of when it's okay to cheat. If you wanted to cheat, I feel like you shouldn't get married in the first place.

But back to the wife. Doesn't it bother her that the guy she is married to is encouraging 7 million people to go against what they promised to each other? Doesn't a giant red flag just pop up in her mind? Isn't she scared that one day she'll do something wrong, or something will go wrong, and as a "solution" to avoid divorce he'll go cheat? How can you trust someone who is encouraging everyone else to be untrustworthy?

I think that's the big issue I can't get over. It'd be one thing if he was a bachelor, or had a history of cheating. But according to Neil, he's blameless. In a committed relationship he doesn't plan on straying from. As I've heard him say in an interview, he provides the product but he doesn't use it.

Part of me wants to praise the wife for being so trustworthy. Another part of me wants to believe she's stupid and naive.

But this isn't about the wife. This isn't even about Neil. It's about this damn website that has shown how many people out there are willing to cheat. Is there any hope for a monogamous relationship when you hear those numbers?

Part of the argument is that cheating helps. For some couples, it saves the marriage. I'd like to believe that there are better, more honest ways of improving a marriage. I just think that infidelity happened to be there and they had no where to go but up. And that doesn't make cheating any better.

Sigh.

Sad truth is, it's not going to change. The dude's right. With or without his website, people are going to cheat. But at the same time, for every person who is willing to use this website I'd venture to say there is two or three who are against it. Why else would networks refuse to air his commercials? Because the majority of the people still believe it's not right.

There are a lot of people who will cheat. But there is also a lot of people who believe it's wrong. And it's the latter that gives me hope.